Was It All Worth It?

Sabrina Desriviere

My college experience started in the summer of 2010 at Umass Dartmouth. I was super anxious, not knowing how everything was going to play out. First week of classes I was a wreck unable to sit in class, constant panic attacks, and just overwhelmed with the thought that I was destined to fail. After a couple of weeks of living on campus, I’ve made the ultimate decision to leave before the semester ended. This was by far one of the hardest decisions I had to make because I felt that I failed my family, friends, and more importantly myself.

I didn’t have much of a back up plan, and was struggling to figure out my next move. After some time to myself my dad suggested that I attend Bunker Hill Community College.Initially, I was so frustrated for allowing myself to hit this low, and also with the thought of being judged having to go to a community college overwhelmed me. I felt stuck. I gave Bunkerhill a chance, it helped me ease my way back into the college setting by being flexible, and not having the pressure of taking on a full course load. I started off by taking two classes which wasn’t too much to manage, however my  struggle with being able to sit in a classroom continued to persist. Over time I took time away from school to work full time and figure out what are my other options.

The next step I decided to take was to attend a trade school to receive a certificate in medical assisting. By far the best educational decision I’ve made for myself. The setting was more interactive and hands on which I loved. It help provided me with the skills, and tools I needed to further my career beyond medical assisting. Most importantly it helped build my confidence to go back to college and obtain my degree. Unfortunately, I didn’t go back to Bunkerhill but decided to attend Northshore Community College instead. Northshore was more my speed and made me much more comfortable. With balancing work and attending classes during the evenings and weekends it took a lot out of me. However, I made it; graduating with my Associates Degree in Health Science May 2019 I had endless breakdowns, ocean of tears, and constantly questioned myself if all of this was worth it. Truthfully, after nine years of battling myself with trying to finish my education: it was all worth it. I learned so much about myself through this journey that probably wouldn’t have known had I stayed on campus at Umass Dartmouth.

Some advice I can give you is “don’t give up” as basic as it sounds. You probably already have  this set plan on how you vision these next 4 years of college and that’s great. However, that plan is not set in stone so anything can happen, not to burst your bubble. Truthfully, life happens. It will take you places that you didn’t see coming, but all it takes is some readjusting and that’s ok. Yea, things will get tough, anxiety is on 100, and you may feel the weight of the world is on your shoulder, but keep trying and pushing yourself because it will be worth it in the end.

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